Heather: I'm So Confused.

Before I start this post, I just want to say that the rest of you need to scroll down and find Ash's post (including Ash) and answer some of those questions. I've been posting way too much... So let's try to even it out a bit, okay? Haha. :D

Before, I said I was only 'semi-stumped' now, but I was wrong. I'm actually 'stumped beyond belief.' See this girl:

        I barely have time to move before he’s in front of me, his hands grabbing onto my wrists in a violently tight hold that makes me cry out in pain. He shoves me against his chest, and pulls out the dagger hidden at his own waist. He holds it to my neck, taunting me with its proximity. “You know,” he purrs quietly into my ear, “You really are quite the beautiful little prize.”

I love to write about. It's easy for me, she's probably one of the best characters I've ever written about, and I don't want to give up on this idea, because I like it so much. But then this happened:

       Pain sears through me and I struggle to get air into my lungs. My body wants to panic, to fight until the very end; but I hold back, knowing now that this is not my battle to fight, nor will it ever be. It is hers, when her time comes, and I will not stand in the way.

       My thoughts turn to Darcy as my body seems to slowly lose its warmth, and I smile morbidly. One day, I promise him in a silent prayer, one day we will meet again.  And as my already black world turns to nothing, I swear I hear him say my name one final time.

And so, I started with this girl:

        My nails are jagged, and thick with dirt, and my hands are callused and blistered. My feet look no better. I long for a mirror, to see my reflection. Long blond hair spills over my shoulders, and my skin is a sickly pallor.

        A thin nightgown clings to my body, the silky red fabric moving as a second skin, and leaving me to feel deeply vulnerable. I want to take it off- to exchange it for a familiar pair of woolen trousers, and an over-sized tunic.

       I shake my head, familiar? Nothing is familiar to me now. Restlessness rises within me, and I pace around the beautiful room. Something is off; I can feel it. But I have no idea what—no idea how. I know nothing.

And the end result?

Picture me slamming my face off the wall a few hundred times, and that's how it all works out. I have no idea what I'm doing. Am I going to make girl two also be girl one, just the amnesiac version..? Am I going to just write for girl one, and... I have no idea.

Are they in our world? Or are they in another? Should I start researching how people used to dress and act, and places, or should I make up a totally new place? Should I make it happen now, and here? Or should I make it happen then, and there?

Or is girl two the reincarnation? Is girl one even still alive, or is she dead just like I wrote?

Where is Darcy? What is he doing? How could he let girl one get taken off to die (if she really is dead), if he is supposed to be in love with her?

And the biggest question of all, what the heck is wrong with my brain, and why can't it just make things easy?

I know this was really vague, but if any of you can help me answer those questions, I'd love you forever and ever, and very likely dedicate the entire thing to you because I am brain dead.

Also, even if you have no idea, I need names. I can't just keep calling them girl one and girl two, now can I?

And no, I can't tell you what/who Darcy is (even though that's really the only thing I know...).

Well... Ideas anyone?

-H