So...I've noticed that for a while now, I haven't gotten anything finished on Blood Red Rose. And I just realized that it's because I've been so focused on other people's stories, and helping and reading and keeping up with posts and everything. And I'm not really sure what to do.
Of course I don't want to leave SAAWAKM. But I think I might not have a choice.... If SAAWAKM is getting in the way of what I love and what I want to do, then honestly, why deal with it?
I'm not just coming up and saying "I'm quitting". I'm not saying that at all. I'm trying to say that I'm considering leaving.
After the whole collab drama, even though I'm over it, I took it as a big slap in the face. And it really stung. But there's no doubt in my mind that eventually, theres gonna be more drama. And I don't want to have to go through feeling left out and excluded from everyone again.
Personally, I feel like SAAWAKM isn't what I expected it to be when me and Kas first made the blog. I thought it would be less work, and we were all about writing novels, and helping, editing, making ideas come alive and building friendships with every single member.
I was so excited about being more inspired and motivated to write, write and write some more.
Except I've barely gotten anything done! And of course I blame a lot of that on writers block. Haha. But SAAWAKM seems to be holding me back from writing my novel. I mean, I'm only up to my second chapter. And I've been writing since August of 2009. I expected myself to be about halfway through about now. But I'm not even close.
And it's not only my novel thats my concern. I've been going through so much lately, in my personal life. I absolutely hate my mom. And when I say that, every part of my heart just wants her out of my life because I honestly hate her. And I just moved to a completely new state and I just left all of my friends and family, and everything I l
oved and knew. I have a bunch of drama going on right now, and my grandpa's death last year still makes my insides grow cold, and I've been holding everything inside for an entire year. I just need a break.And I feel like I'm not a very good member, if I'm unable to help everyone out, and read their books and work on my own, if I'm going through so much that I just don't have the energy to do anything.
So again, I'm not saying that I'm quitting. But I'm considering it....
♥M
May I ask what the Collab drama was about? I have no idea what you're talking about there, but maybe that's because it happened before I was invited to this site by Heather. I understand that life has its difficulties and it will always. Though we may not lighten the problem you're going through, at least we're there for you. That's what friends are for, right? As mentioned before, life will always have its problems, but all you have to do is be strong. I can already tell that you're a very strong and respected-type-of girl! If leaving this website is what you want to do, then you have the right to by all means. But if you think it will somehow solve all your problems, I would think again. I barely got to know you! :( Ugh, and you sound so sweet!
ReplyDelete~Merisa
Another thing lol, set some time each and every day to write. You can even do this before bed because I doubt logging onto the computer would be on your mind. That may not be the best advice I've ever given to someone, but it may work. I don't think this site is your problem, I think it's what you're going through. Look, I'm not trying to upset you in any way because that's the last thing I want to do, but that's what I believe...
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